This poem was a spoken word poem, often performed in poetry slams locally, and nationally by The Klute, and various other members of the Arizona poetry community, sometimes with the audience clapping in beat, and other times with beatboxing poetry performers such as Aaron Hopkins-Johnson or Ed Mabrey. It was originally written in 2007, and some of the references were periodically updated from performance to performance. This version is from 2012, and has slight variations from the published versions found on The Klute’s audio recording version on “Reading the Obituaries Over My Dead Body” and Brick Cave Media‘s published “Hate You Can Trust“.
Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele
says the the Grand Ol’ Party is in need of a “hip-hop makeover.” I got this.
Yo, I’m a Republican and I come from the street
fresh for twenty ten with an old skool beat
ya’ll used to love us,
but now, not so much
Keith Olbermann thinks the party’s out of touch.
so tonight on countdown, now it’s rhymes that we’re fixin
like the original gangsta, Richard Milhouse Nixon
now we’re making mix tapes
we’re not gonna burn ’em
Watergate taught us lessons
and you suckas gonna learn ’em
gonna pump up the jams, like we did in the 80s
but now we’re not just white, we got some blacks, some ladies
okay not a lot
but at least half a dozen
Alan Keyes, Larry Elder, Strom Thurmond’s lost cousin
straight out the cabin like Abraham Lincoln
but still in the closet in case the Tea Baggers got ya thinkin’
because we’re down with the dirty, but only if it’s straight
that’s why we dropped dimes on California’s prop eight
we’re the party of God
just like the Taliban
over Mullah Omar’s the Reverend Pat Roberson
we got the mormons, catholics, pentacostals too
our Israel support is outreach to the Jews
we support home schoolin’, intelligent design
because dinosaurs and man, were at the same time
we save stem cells, we stop some abortions,
we’re pimpin’ out Jesus in generous proportions
The TV’s turned to Fox News
Rush Limbaugh is pumpin’
check it out o’er here,
Ann Coulter is crumpin
My DJ Adam Smith
call him Ghosthand for short
from the lower middle class
he likes to extort
because it’s class warfare when Mr. Potter gets smoked
when the poor takes the hit,
the markets get stoked
it’s trickle down economics
can’t you understand
the fact that you’re unemployed
has totally been planned.
Wit’ invisible hands,
MC Adam’s laying down the tracks
he’s gonna spin yall out
a motherfuggin flat tax
fifteen percent, fifteen percent, fifteen percent
that’s all you gotta pay
so step off tax man with your 1040A
i got a right to bare arms
and I know how to use it
posse of lobbyists so Im not gonna lose it
I roll with Dick Cheney
so you know Im a killah
cappin old geezers
makin grave land filler
Got glocks, uzis, machine guns too
permit from Sarah Palin to hunt moose at the zoo
like Jennifer Grey in Red Dawn lands,
you’ll only get my gun from my cold dead hands
all the wolverines here say HO
all the wolverines here say HO
Yeah
God, guns and money
you know that they’re with us
so like it says on the coin
who you gonna trust
forget about bush
cuz Reagan is out game
unlike the Gipper
you won’t forget our name
The preceding message was paid for by the Republican Party and is responsible for its content.
and I approve that message because the GOP is hype.
so peace out ya’ll
and to ya’ll a good a’ight!
Did I say peace? I meant WAR.
About the poet The Klute
You can listen to more audio recordings from The Klute from the album “Reading The Obituaries Over My Dead Body“, or read the poem in text form in a collection of poetry called “Hate You Can Trust“. Learn more about The Klute HERE.
