“Satellite TV Sports” by Nick Fox
you’re listening to the voice of Nick
Fox the Total Sports poet in five four
three fabulous new diet I lost 500 lb
act now and you can for the one on the
Green Bay too and this is what I’m
talking about put that salad down you do
not need protein shakes or tofu diets we
have pork rinds and onion dip to take
care of your nutritional needs so just
rear back in that Parco lounger feed off
the sonic waves beaming back from your
jumbotron home theaters personal satellite
in orbit 50 miles above the Earth and give
your thumb a workout because it’s Fourth
and one on the green
May 2 down by 5 and
3 seconds on the clock
all right boys I want classic
sweep around the outside
the pulling guard slamming the linebacker
like 300 lb of Frozen processed beef as
the tail back steps over the line for
six and The Crowd Goes
Wild
and now a word from our sponsor
drink this beer and beautiful women will
have sex with you
okay we’re back just
in time for full court match and a no look
dish to a man for unconscious threes I
want somebody in the zone high up the
fray before changing the chain net with a
backward crunching Jam his blue penny
hardaways all over the defender eyepiece
before dropping back to Earth and
shouting back that on you sun
a chill 66
it’s the greatest show on frozen water
roaring across thin ice on hot blades
give me a 90 mph Slap Shot Rapier glove
save and now a word from our sponsors
if you subscribe to Sports Illustrated
today we will send you this free
football phone wow is that a phone
really that looks just like a football
is that really
Hey, Scooter get load of this deal!
okay we’re back just a time
for football the old-fashioned way with
Henderson bicycle kicks and no hands
allow give me the neverending roar of a
singing Brazilian crowd
chanting Ole Ole Ole Ole
not make the blazing feet for a
GOAL!!!
Oh that’s got to hurt, Bob
I’m the greatest of all
to they’re up in ring of
the fifth race Island Park out the box
is old sport in the lead Follow by
Taylor man DP catcher with Baltimore Joe
bringing out the rear and here they come
in the first turn
CH 57 it’s the
American Passtime on a perfect summer’s
day and a farm boy fresher the miners
strides to the plate it’s a 3-2 count in
a one-run game in the bottom of the 9th
and the base is Juiced and the whole
crowd is chanting say it with me
now
CHARGE!
and now a word from our sponsor
these Nike shoes proudly endorsed by
Michael Jordan Andre Agassi and Tiger
Woods are specially engineered by
starving overworked underpaid third world
children to make you into your walking
billboard for a multinational corporation
okay we’re back he swings on single and
drives to the Gap whole stadium raises to
its feet the C man fry the whole stadium
screaming slide Willy slide up settle in
our home plate under a column
safe
safe
and that is when you realize that this
is the American Dream in action my
friends it is 550 channels of ass
kicking fan rooting six shooting fun
this is the American Dream in action
even if the world outside can’t see but
who the hell needs a life when you got
satellite TV
Watch “Satellite TV Sports” by Nick Fox on YouTube
About the poet Nick Fox
In Satellite TV Sports, Nick Fox delivers a satirical, rapid-fire commentary on the overwhelming spectacle of televised sports and the relentless consumer culture that fuels it. Nick Fox was the founder of the Flagstaff Poetry Slam. The poem mimics the high-energy voice of a sports announcer, bombarding the reader with play-by-play action from various sports—football, basketball, hockey, soccer, horse racing, and baseball—all interwoven with exaggerated commercial breaks that promise instant gratification through consumption.
Fox’s use of repetitive advertising language and hyperbolic imagery mocks the way sports broadcasting transforms athleticism into a commercialized, almost religious experience. The poem critiques corporate influence, as seen in the cynical nod to Nike shoes being produced by underpaid laborers, and the hollow promises of beer commercials that link consumption to sexual success. Beneath the humor of this poem originally written in 2003, the poem asks a deeper question: Has the American Dream become nothing more than an endless loop of entertainment, advertising, and passive consumption?
The final lines drive the point home: “Who the hell needs a life when you got satellite TV?”—a sharp indictment of a society that prioritizes escapism over reality. The poem doesn’t just describe the sports experience; it exposes the machinery behind it, revealing how entertainment and advertising have merged into an unstoppable force that dictates culture and identity.
Fox’s signature style blends sharp wit, social commentary, and an uncanny ability to capture the absurdity of modern life. To read more about Nick Fox’s poetic career and unique voice, click here to visit his bio page.